Explaining Teen Stars’ Wild Behavior
Submitted by Dr. Gwenn Is In
I totally agree with the New York Times that this has been a tough media year for teen stars. And, it has put us parents of tweens and young teens in a tough spot. My 10 year old didn’t actually catch wind about those new Miley pictures until yesterday. And, she didn’t see one until this morning when she walked behind me as I was surfing the web for fodder for this blog post. Her reaction yesterday was “she’s just a kid? How could she really know what she was doing? I’m sure her parents gave it the ok.” And, today? “Why would her parents let THAT get out? Doesn’t even look like her. Weird.”
Ever since those new Miley pictures were released, I just can’t shake a comment that Barbara Walters said on Good Morning America when she was filling in recently and this topic came up. Barbara basically said, and this is a paraphrase: “Her parents are involved and control everything in that girl’s life. Don’t think for a minute they didn’t know what they were doing or what they would get from this photographer.” But, that was the jist and I think it is the most realistic and accurate explanation yet. Miley’s parents control every aspect of her career and her mother, in particular, is with her every step of the way. The blame here is on the parents. That is where it begins and ends.
Why not blame the photographer? She was hired and just doing a job. I can’t push this argument too far.
Why not blame Miley? Unlike Jamie Lynn, Miley didn’t ask for this and is too young to know the implications of these pictures. But, in even a few years she will and I bet she won’t be very happy with the people who are to blame: her parents.
I know this is strong but it has to be. Parents have to pull back sometimes and stop using their kids as posters for something more. Whether your kids are local stars or big stage stars, be sure you are really watching out for your child’s best interests. And, if people around you are telling you to pull back, pull back. That could have saved David on Idol some pain, huh?
Parents are supposed to protect their kids so the tough part is helping our kids understand how parents of their teen starts make decisions that are not so great. I took the approach that it is hard sometimes to be a parent and a business agent and sometimes what looks like a good decision ends up not to be. I focused on the make believe of Hollywood and how easy it is in that life to get carried away. I focus on the fact that even when bad decisions are made, parents still love their kids.
In the end, we all have to keep that in mind. Even over the top parents love their kids. So, while we will all be appalled and may not understand decision that lead to photos like Miley had taken, we can at least all agree that her parents do love her.
How’s my daughter with the situation now? She’s fine. Happily listening to Miley songs and watching Hannah Montanah episodes. Kids are very accepting of mistakes and explanations and very forgiving of adults who make them. That’s the blessing and curse of childhood. I just hope that Miley has learned enough of a lesson here to forgive her parents but to keep an eye out for the next decision they make on her behalf.
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Mom Time
Submitted by Childn’Parent
We know that spending quality time with our kids is really important and is the perfect way to bond with our children. However, what some of us Mothers often forget is the importance of spending quality time alone, away from the kids, Mom Time, so that we do not forget who we are and what we love to do.
While playing with Barbie’s is very exciting, it is nice to take time away from wishing you had Barbie’s life, to actually having it for a night. Going out with some girlfriends and shopping, getting your hair and nails done, or going to a movie can be just the break necessary to help clear your mind and have some adult conversation.
While taking your child out to dinner may work most of the time, imagine you and your husband, out for the night without having to feed someone else, worry about all of the spilt food on the floor, or rush outside when your baby is crying and coming back to cold food.
I have seen first hand that sanity goes hand in hand with Mom Time. I feel the difference when it has been a while since I have been “alone” or done something just for me. Once I get out for a few hours I come back refreshed and realize that I actually do like my kids. After all, how can you miss them when they are always with you? You can’t!
In the rare case that it has been so long since you had a moment to yourself, you may be wondering what you would do if you were kid free for a few hours. Here are a few ideas. I already mentioned shopping, getting your hair or nails done, and a movie with friends. There is always date night with your significant other, including dinner, where you will actually be able to carry on a conversation. Have you thought about taking a walk or a drive? What about a trip to the grocery store or to your favorite craft store?
Whatever you do, remember to spend the time doing grown up things, and as tempting as it may be to talk about or think about your kids the whole time, don’t! This is your time to get away.
And, of course, use the advice at Child N Parent on Parenting Tips to help keep your sanity.
By: Vanessa Lee
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Dr. Gwenn On NECN: When To Immunize, Measles and MRSA
Submitted by Dr. Gwenn Is In
Yesterday on NECN’s HealthWeek, Karen Swensen and I talked about the recent CDC study that showed that only 28% of kids were properly immunized. With the recent rise in Measles, this study certainly has us all asking a lot of questions. Check out what I had to say as well as what you can do to keep your kids free of MRSA, another infectious disease emerging more and more in schools.
Tune in next month for my next Medical Masters on NECN.
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How are you celebrating your mom?
Submitted by Dr. Gwenn Is In
Did you know that Mother’s Day dates back to ancient Greece? Back then, they used to celebrate Rhea, the Mother of the Gods. The Romans had a similar celebration to honor their mother of the gods, Juno and that celebration involved gifts. Mother’s Day in the United Stated was declared by President Wilson in 1914 but was intended to honor mother’s who lost sons in war. According to Wikipedia, Mother’s Day as we now celebrate it, began 9 years later.
I had no idea that Mother’s Day has such an old and rich history. I also didn’t realize that gift giving went so far back in time. The jewelry industry certainly figured that out!
But, what gifts do most moms really want? After 13 Mother’s Days, do you know what stands out most in my mind? Just the day and snapshots of my kids’ excitement as they orchestrated various parts of the day from breakfasts in bed to gift exchanges to homemade cards. The rest is just fluff.
With our world so crazed, days like Mother’s Day are perfect days for old fashioned, unplugged family time. Remember, you’ll have kids in tow so don’t go too far over board or you’ll end up with grumpy tots by day’s end. It is your day, but you are a mom and have to be sure the day is kid-friendly.
And, the kids will need some coaching. Celebrating others is not something all kids are natural at. They get excited then don’t know what to do. Help them and coach them, and don’t be upset if they drop the ball or don’t say just what you want them to. They are still learning to express their emotions and not all kids are naturals at that. However you are going to celebrate and whatever your family structure is, talk to your kids ahead of time about what the day will have in store and help them find ways to celebrate you if they need help. You are the mom! So, you may have to buy the supplies for your own gift. Been there, done that many times.
Finally, keep in mind that it is our kids that make us moms. At some point during the day, take a step back and just look at your family and realize how cool it is to be a mom. You and your family are together and that is something amazing to celebrate. So, while they are openly celebrating you, be sure you also celebrate them. Give them a big hug and tell them how wonderful it is to be their mom!
So, whatever you do on Sunday, I hope you have a great day.
Happy Mother’s Day!
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Resource for Boys’ Schooling
Submitted by Boys and Schools Blog
As I admittedly spend quite a bit of time in this space lauding single-sex education, it should be no surprise that I get a lot of inquiries about what options are out there for parents seeking all-boys programs. Unfortunately, the availability of single-sex classes in public schools is still limited–though I would like nothing more that to see this grow. It is discouraging to talk to a concerned parent who would like his or her son to have the advantage of an education focused on boys’ needs and learning styles, only to have to tell them that there isn’t much available in their area. However, there are still options.
The most important thing to remember is that if you want to see more opportunities for single-gender classes in your school district, the power to make that change lies in your hands. Get a group of like-minded parents together and approach the school board and administration. Boys and Schools can help give you information about how incorporating an option for single-sex classes can be good for both boys and girls, but the schools won’t introduce changes unless they know that there are parents out there that will support them.
In addition, I’d like to introduce you to another resource for those interested in boys’ schools–the International Boys’ Schools Coalition. This organization offers information and resources regarding boys’ schools, including a database of schools. They can be a good source of help for anyone looking to learn more about boys’ schools and education. (And are darned good people as well.)
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National Children’s Mental Health Awareness Day
Submitted by Dr. Gwenn Is In
Today is National Children’s Mental Health Awareness Day, co-sponsored by the American Academy of Pediatrics. It is a day to help promote positive youth development, resilience and recovery. While there are still many more services for kids needing help than there were in the past, the stigma associated with mental illness often prevents families from tapping into those services.
Did you know that in a typical classroom of 30, there may be as many as 2 to 4 children with mental health needs? With that many kids to help, this has to be a community effort involving parents, educators and pediatricians. The goal has to be to help and empower all kids to thrive and learn the strategies they need to to cope best in the world around them.
To this end, the American Academy of Pediatrics has put together 20 tips that address these issues with a particular focus on high school kids:
“What Teens Can Do:
When feeling angry, worried or troubled, discuss your feelings with a parent, another trusted adult, or a trusted friend. Teachers and coaches are two examples of adults who can help.
Find safe and healthy interests that you enjoy outside of school and home.
Write down some goals for the future to help you stay focused on things that really matter. This can help you put day-to-day problems into perspective.
Avoid using alcohol, tobacco and other drugs; these don’t help with problems and often make things worse.
Instead, think about positive ways to handle problems and the feelings that go along with them.
If you’re in trouble with your mood, drug use, or sexuality, get help. You never need to feel alone.
What Parents Can Do:
Listen to your teenager—let him talk out his problems with you before jumping in with a solution. Teens need adults to believe in them unconditionally and expect them to succeed.
Encourage your teenager to get involved in activities that engage her with the community in a positive way. For some this may be sports or drama, for others it may involve tutoring younger kids or volunteering in the community.
Set clear expectations that you want to know where your teen is and when he’ll be back. Discuss with him the consequences of the use of alcohol, tobacco and other drugs.
Help your teen to identify other adults to turn to when she wants to talk.
Let your high schooler know that it’s okay to seek help from a counselor, health care professional or trusted adult, if needed. Students and parents are encouraged to be aware of the services available at their school and how to access those services.
Encourage your teen to explore solutions. In many cases, she will know about the solutions—for example, extra help after school - but may need your encouragement to try them.
Everyone experiences anger and stress! Help your teen to find acceptable ways of working through these feelings.
Teenagers can be quite impulsive—never let a moment of despair become true tragedy. If your child is depressed or moody, be certain that he cannot access firearms, prescription drugs or other dangerous items in your home.
What Schools Can Do:
Schools can help students to feel safe and connected. They can provide meaningful interactions with caring adults on a daily basis and offer engaging after-school opportunities.
Each student should have a sense of ownership, attachment, responsibility and input into school life. Schools can also help students find opportunities in the community where they can engage in positive roles.
Some schools provide mental health services on site; others can help students connect with community resources and providers of these services.
What Pediatricians Can Do:
Talk to high school counselors, parents and patients to become familiar with the particular stresses and challenges facing teens in your particular community.
Often doctors are the first people families turn to with mental health concerns. Recognize that the trusting relationship you have with your patients and parents can make you a good first person to talk to. Ask questions during exams about mental health status, and screen for mental health concerns.
Help your patients and parents focus on the teen’s assets or strengths—what she brings to the table to help her survive and thrive in the high school years. For example: goals, sense of self-worth, generosity.
Know what resources are available in your community so that you can refer teens who need support. Make connections with mental health service providers and referral sources, and have information available in the office about mental health services.”
Here’s a link for more information on National Children’s Mental Health Awareness Day that includes some excellent links and resources.
The theme for today is “thriving in the community”. Go for that with your kids and you’ll always find the path to take.
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IT Slide?
Submitted by Boys and Schools Blog
How about some scary education statistics? I know that we like to throw these things out every once in a while to demonstrate just how bad things are, while still failing to make any real change. Anyway, the Chairman of the National Academy of Sciences “Rising Above the Storm” committee informs us that:
Nearly 60 percent of the patents filed with the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office in the field of information technology now originate in Asia. The United States ranks 17th among nations in high-school graduation rate and 14th in college graduation rate.
In China, virtually all high school students study calculus; in the United States, 13 percent study calculus.
For every American elementary and secondary school student studying Chinese, there are 10,000 students in China studying English.
The average American youth now spends 66 percent more time watching television than in school.
I will confess that one of the things that always gets me about these kinds of lists is how they don’t really delve into differences in cultural schooling systems, colleges, etc. But that’s not to say that there isn’t plenty to be worried about here. Aside from the television point, the thing that I find most disquieting is actually the factoid about IT patents. It seems like a small thing, but I think it may bode ill. After all, one of the arguments that is often made in an attempt to refute concerns about the Boy Crisis is that men still dominate America’s information technology fields, which is a booming and expanding industry. (And which, claim the naysayers, doesn’t necessarily require the same kind of formal education that boys have been dropping out of. I’m not entirely sure that I agree with that claim, based on a quick glance at the want-ads, but that’s beside the point.) More to the point is this–if we start to stagnate or fall behind in information technology sector as well, it really makes me wonder what that might mean for the next generation of boys entering the workforce–and what it means about how well they’re being prepared to enter the workforce now.
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Some Fun Shoes Have Hidden Dangers
Submitted by Dr. Gwenn Is In
With the nice weather finally here, parents will be looking for fun footwear for their kids and ways to keep them moving and outside. The problem is the footwear that our kids want to don are not the safest. Check out what I have to say about two of the more popular shoes kids are wearing, Crocs and Heelys, over at MomLogic before you let your kids wear these the wrong way.
Like everything, it’s all about common sense and proper use. Most things can be safe is used as intended.
Where heelys are concerned, if they were safe and reasonable for regular use, would stores need signs like this?
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There’s No Crying in Basketball
Submitted by Boys and Schools Blog
So, this video apparently comes from some CBS news report, but I’m not sure exactly when it aired. Still, I think it’s pretty interesting in light of the battlefield that Title IX and athletics in general have become. Apparently, it has become common at many colleges to have a practice squad made up of guys to help the women’s basketball team practice.
To be honest, this didn’t really surprise me at all. I never played basketball, but I did play a lot of tennis, where it wasn’t at all unusual to practice with someone of the opposite sex. I (and really most female tennis players of any ability level) wasn’t really likely to beat an equally ranked male tennis player in an actual match, but it was good practice to hit with the guys, as they helped you to learn to play with someone with a certain amount of power and quickness–what’s more, since men and women don’t play each other, you wouldn’t be practicing with a potential opponent, so the world of strategy didn’t have to enter into the practice session.
Obviously, the situation is somewhat different with a college practice squad, since a practice squad is by definition made up of people who (for whatever reason) would not be able to play on the team. But while I may not have found it particularly shocking to hear of male practice squads for women’s teams, apparently some people are a little offended. I understand that it takes little to no effort to be offended in this day and age–heck, sometimes I wonder if it’s a new national pastime. But I do think the objectors here are way off the mark. Is it so hard to accept that men are often faster or more powerful or that they might be good practice partners? Clearly, these squads are not made up of players from the men’s team, but I think that if the women’s teams and coaches are able to determine that this is the practice squad that will help their team win, then they should be able to use it. Do we need to be so ridiculously even-handed that we need a gender quota on practice time for people who didn’t make the team, regardless of what might be best for the team? Seriously, I find the whole controversy absurd.
What gets me most of all (and this is my tennis bias showing through again) is that the objectors seem to assume that this is some kind of denigration of women’s athletic skills instead of an attempt to refine them. Really, at upper levels, a lot of sports are so markedly different (not better or worse–just different) between the men’s and women’s levels, that I don’t know why we can’t stop trying to measure them against each other and just enjoy them for what they are.
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Do you know your child’s developmental milestones?
Submitted by Dr. Gwenn Is In
A new study says that 1/3 of parents know little about infant development. That is a lot of parents!
The study out of the University of Rochester focused whether parents feel comfortable with their knowledge and how to stimulate their infants. 10,000 parents of 9month olds were interviewed about their knowledge of infant development and also video taped interacting with their infants in a play setting. And, 1/3 were found to have poor parenting knowledge nationwide. As we might expect, compared to the 2/3 of parents who were found to have good parenting knowledge of development, many of these parents had low income and poor education.
This study helps us identify a group of parents with potentially vulnerable infants - parents who may need more reminding and coaching of infant development in general. Parenting classes, services, resources need to be developed to help this groups and pediatricians clearly need to reach out more to these families.
But, anecdotally, all parents in my experience don’t really get infant development all the time. Even well educated parents and parents with solid incomes don’t always understand appropriate infant development. Given the importance of stimulating infants brain growth during the first year of life, it is important that all parents get appropriate reminders of infant developmental milestones.
Here are some web resources I find useful for infant development that lists infant developmental milestones by age:
Zero To Three
Hallmark Developmental Milestones
Image: Reuters
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Today Is Shutdown Day…so why are you reading this??
Submitted by Dr. Gwenn Is In
Today is the second annual Shutdown Day! But, it is raining here in the Boston area so most folks I know are stuck inside…and this is my weekend to work, so I’m inside regardless. So…how about we extend “Shutdown Day” to “Shutdown Weekend”? Cofounded by 29 year old McGill MBA student Ashutosh Rajekar, the goal is simple: turn off anything plugged in and get outside for an entire 24hours. Rajekar told Reuters: “People are failing to socialize with each other and they are becoming outcasts, they are becoming more and more introverted.”
As someone who uses technology as part of his career, Rajekar made this great point to Reuters: “‘We are not anarchists,’ Rajekar said, explaining that the group doesn’t oppose practical computer use for such things as operating power plants or completing school assignments.
But if people are using computers to waste time on social networking sites or trolling the Internet and ‘basically finding an excuse not to socialize, then we believe things are not going well,’ he said.”
That is the point, isn’t it. Technology and computers can and do add great value to our lives but can also cause great harm. Too many people are using it to tune out and not live life and that is what is concerning. We wouldn’t need the recent “TV Turn Off Week” or an awareness day like Rajekar’s Shutdown Day if we were collectively using computers and technology in a healthy way.
So, stop reading this…power down…and go do something completely low tech for the remainder of the weekend. Create a rainy day plan for tomorrow that involves something out of the house and with other people. Regardless of weather, whatever you do, don’t hit that on switch!
See you Monday!!
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Measles On The Rise!
Submitted by Dr. Gwenn Is In
The headline alone should cause us all to worry: CDC reports largest measles rise since 2001. This story is all over the news - ABC News, The New York Times, The Associated Press on Yahoo, to name a few.
As all the news stories point out, there are a number of likely contributing factors to this rise in measles. First, we learned this week from the CDC that many children are being given their vaccines too early which likely causes those vaccines to not be quite as effective. We have to worry that the early vaccination of these kids is a factor in this measles outbreak.
Then, there are the issues of parents opting to not give their kids vaccinations either due to religious reasons or out of fear of vaccine safety or vaccines causing autism. I’m not going to address those issues today. Today is about numbers. Today is about the fact that in the last 4 months, the CDC has been reported 64 confirmed cases of measles in 9 states. According to ABC News,
“Of the 59 measles cases among U.S. residents, 21 of the people were between 16 months and 19 years old — and 14 of them claimed vaccination exemptions due to religious or personal beliefs.”
Keep in mind that there is no cure for the measles and before the development of the measles vaccine, this illness spread in epidemic proportions. As the New York Times reported in their story:
“Before 1963, when the vaccine became available in this country, there were three million to four million cases of measles annually. The disease killed 400 to 500 children a year and put 48,000 in the hospital.
The vaccine wiped out transmission here by 2000, but the disease can easily be imported because there are so many cases overseas. Worldwide, measles still kills 242,000 children a year.”
The American Academy of Pediatrics has this to say about stopping measles vaccination:
“Measles is one of the most infectious diseases in the world, and is frequently imported into the U.S. If vaccinations were stopped, 2.7 million measles deaths worldwide could be expected.”
The question to ask yourself is this, do we really want to go back to pre-1963 life? Do we really want our kids exposed to infectious diseases complete with those horrible medical consequences if we have a way to prevent them? The time has come for the doubters of vaccines to take a step back, put aside their emotions and look at the statistics more objectively because it is their children at risk - and all the other kids not vaccinated or vaccinated incorrectly now at risk. What infuriates, and saddens me, is this is all so preventable and in our control.
Strange Proportions
Submitted by Boys and Schools Blog
Way back when I was in college, taking women’s studies courses (hey! it was the Nineties, didn’t everyone take a women’s studies course back then?), I remember learning about the whole “voiceless girl” theory of classroom inequality. At the time, the Carol Gilligan studies about girls different ways of knowing/thinking/etc. were very big, and one of the things that had received a lot of attention was the “finding” that boys tended to receive a lot more teacher attention in class. Now, in retrospect, we find that there wasn’t a particularly good distinction made in the study between positive and negative attention. And the whole thing was flawed because it started from the assumption that receiving less attention necessarily correlated to lower self-esteem for girls. But at the time, the big thing was to point out that boys were getting more classroom attention and that this intimidated girls into not participating in class.
Of course, the big problem with this set-up is that it is boys, not girls, who have been demonstrating lower test scores, grades, clasrrom engagement, college attendance, and so on. Whatever kind of attention boys may have been getting in school (in whatever quantities), it certainly wasn’t doing anything to help their literacy scores.
And then today, I came across this article from the Guardian, which suggests that the problem is more or less the opposite of that old women’s studies axiom. Rather than intimidating girls into silence, it is possible that boys may be hiding in the background in English classes, where girls tend to shine. The study suggests that as the proportion of girls to boys in an English class rose, the boys performed more poorly. Converesely, in classes with a smaller proportion of girls, boys tended to perform better.
None of this is to suggest that this is somehow the girls’ fault, or that it’s not a good thing to have active, intelligent, and engaged girls. But it is suggestive of the value of single-sex classes in certain subjects where different learning styles may be creating a class of “voiceless boys.” I wonder what the women’s studies department would make of that?
Do you know your UV index? You should!
Submitted by Dr. Gwenn Is In
Last weekend, visiting relatives in New York, my husband went to the Mets game with our 13 year old daughter and some relatives and friends. They had great seats on the 3rd base line, right in the open air! My daughter couldn’t believe how big Shea Stadium was compared to Fenway Park. It was a typical early spring day so they came prepared for the elements with windbreakers and baseball hats. By the time they came home, they all realized they had forgotten one very important thing: sunblock. Everyone had burned noses and my husband’s Irish arms were an interesting shade of red.
Today’s UV index where we live is 6. That is already in the moderate zone!! I had no idea that you could even map a UV index or calculate it until I read about that today in White Coat Notes. We all should be doing this much more!
Today’s White Coat Notes post has many excellent, expert driven sun safety tips that we all should be following. Here the the highlights but I’d recommend you read the entire post and click on the links for more information:
1. Use sunscreen - SPF 30 or higher that covers UVA and UVB and reapply every 2 hours
2. Wear protective clothing: long sleeved shirts, wide-brimmed hats, and sunglasses (many companies have UV clothing even for kids- just search for “sun protective clothing” on Dr. Google)
3. Avoid peak sun intensity hours between 10 a.m. and 4 p.m - and seek shade often (yes, that does say 4pm!!)
4. Avoid tanning beds - those are never, ever safe.
Two points from today’s White Coat Notes that I do want to reintegrate. First, keep in mind sun exposure is one of the few cancer exposures we have total control over. That doesn’t happen to often in the cancer world. Skin cancer from sun exposure is preventable - if any of us get this cancer, we have only to look into a mirror to discover how we got it.
Second, spray on tans are safe and fun but don’t go over board or you’ll look like an OompaLoompa!
So, have fun in the sun…just do it carefully.
Boys Will Be Boys.
Submitted by Childn’Parent
What do you do when your excited son shows you the snake that he has just captured? Do you get angry when the spiders that he gathered get loose in your house? How do you feel when he comes home with his new outfit covered in mud? I think that all Moms’ will agree that boys will be boys.
My son has always been terrified of bugs. He liked to look from a distance, or on a brave occasion poke at them with a long stick, but the second a bug made any contact with his skin or clothing he would become terrified. While I felt bad that he had this fear, I was also relieved in a way. I have always heard that having a son would mean that he would always be dirty, and would bring home all kinds of bugs which I was not excited about. Until recently, none of this had happened.
My husband took my son exploring in a nearby field. He had never gone into the field because I had told him about all of the bugs and snakes in there; that did not sound fun to him. However after exploring with Dad, he had a new appreciation for all of the creepy crawly things that he saw.
A few days later he told me that he had caught a bug. I pictured a little ladybug or something and congratulated him. Minutes later he came up to me and had a large cricket on his arm. It was crawling from hand to hand and arm to arm; my son was smiling from ear to ear. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, grab the camera, or hurry and get the bug off of him.
I watched for a minute and then thought to myself…boys will be boys. One fear conquered, what will be next?
Need More Cowbell?
Submitted by Boys and Schools Blog
So, this is admittedly completely off-topic, but I found an excellent time-waster today in the form of Nerve and IFC’s list of the 50 Greatest Comedy Sketches of All Time. Alas, not all of the entries have working links, but enough of them work to put a serious dent in your afternoon. I could try to drag this back on-topic by discussing Christopher Hitchens’ work about men and comedy (short version: men are better at comedy than women), but not only do I not want to touch that claim with a ten-meter cattle prod, but I’m not entirely sure that Hitchens himself isn’t being a tad controversial purely for the sake of controversy there. Of course, I did once write an essay for a college scholarship about why there were so few great female lead guitar players. (Yes, I had forgotten about Heart. No, I did not forget about Courtney Love or Lita Ford.) But that only because that kind of pop culture riffing is a lot of fun to do–not because I think there’s any great insight to be found there about the battle of the sexes.
So, to drag things back on topic, albeit kicking and screaming, I’ve heard a bit of the outrage about the provacative Miley Cyrus picture for the cover of Vanity Fair. Seeing as I get up every morning and thank God that my house has so far been untouched by the Hannah Montana craze, I wasn’t exactly aware of the issue at first, but it seems that Ms. Cyrus has made quite a name for herself as a wholesome Disney ‘tween star, and that the Vanity Fair photos are not exactly compatible with that image. I do know that parents of girls are upset (and rightly so in my opinion) that a major celebrity (and role model) who has been marketed to their pre-teen daughters as a wholesome “regular girl,” seems to be going down the same tired sex-kitten path that Britney Spears, Lindsey Lohan, and company have travelled. And I do sympathize with this view–I don’t like the message we send to young women that this kind of early sexualization is something to be admired or emulated–or that it somehow is connected to being glamorous and popular. But I don’t think that this is just a problem for young women. I think we should also be aware of how these same messages affect young men. Because if we are teaching girls that this is what they should be, then we are also teaching boys that this is what they should expect and admire as well–and I don’t see that as any healthier for young boys than it is for girls.
Can doctors have a life?
Submitted by Dr. Gwenn Is In
White Coat Notes yesterday mused about “What happens when doctors what to get a life” and my mind jumped to a World Wrestling Entertainment Main Event. I could even hear the announcer: “In one corner, standing inches tall, the doctor and his or her life. In the other corner, towering high above the ring, the medical establishment.” And the winner is….
It’s not just “young” doctors who want to balance family and work these days, as Elizabeth Cooney points out in her post. But, all doctors, in my opinion. This is a wrestling match that occurs in young and old, male and female, these days. The field of medicine is tough and can suck up all of your time and energy if you are not careful. Perhaps that is why many doctors I know who wanted a life have ended up tweaking their careers in a way to minimize clinical medicine for other pursuits: patient education, research, writing, teaching, medical communication, medical administration, health care administration. And, the list goes on - even to include leaving the field of medicine entirely.
I will admit that younger doctors do have more clinical options out of the gate than my colleagues and I had even a decade a go. There are now more shift opportunities and part time opportunities. There are more specialty choices that allow for creative scheduling of time such as hospitalist work and urgent care work. And, medical groups are going to some interesting team concepts, as Cooney mentioned. All of these models, however, do strain the work place. And, there in lies the problem. So far, there have been no great solutions for that issue and some fields of medicine have dramatic workforce shortages. Yet…doctors are more awake and happy, which is good for patient care.
Cooney’s post was prompted by yesterday’s Wall Street Journal article called “As Doctors Get A Life, Strains Show”. The initial paragraph well describes today’s medical work environment:
“U.S. medicine is in the middle of a cultural revolution, as young physicians intent on balancing work and family challenge the assumption that a doctor should be available to treat patients around the clock.”
Even the AMA is admitting that this change may be for the better. According to Ronald Davis, AMA President:
“There has been a sea change in how young physicians today balance professional responsibilities and personal needs compared to their colleagues from a few decades ago…Physicians who manage their own stress and feel happy with their own daily circumstances are probably better physicians.”
If all goes well, tomorrow’s young physicians won’t have to face the wrestling match many of us have had to endure. This is one match that should end in a tie.
So, please don’t get upset if you learn your doc is off doing something personal. Just think about your own life and realize that he or she is not doing anything different than you do to blow off steam or manage your family. And, when you do see your doctor next, you’ll have a more attentive and focused doctor as a result.
A Tummy Ache Or Something More
Submitted by Dr. Gwenn Is In
April is Irritable Bowel Awareness Month and I just posted some interesting info over at A Dose of Dr. Gwenn. While tummy aches are common in kids, so is Irritable Bowel Syndrome. In fact, much more common than I realized! Head over and check it out
Knowing is Half the Battle
Submitted by Boys and Schools Blog
I sometimes feel like it’s it’s almost too easy to jump on the anti-video game wagon when it comes to pinpointing problems with boys. They can be a handy punching bag, especially when you consider the fact that they don’t punch back. But I’m limited by my own biases–namely, that I like video games and don’t think that they’re universally bad. Just that they require a lot of parental knowledge and awareness.
For example, today is the US release of the game Grand Theft Auto IV, the latest in a blockbuster game series, and virtually guaranteed to become one of the biggest selling, most popular games of the year. It’s also the game series that pioneered the ability to pick up prostitutes to help your health in the game, and then shoot said prostitute to get your money back. So, it’s not a kid’s game. With that said, the reason it’s so popular is because it’s well made, well-scripted, and interesting to play. Heck, it’s even interesting to watch. (In one of the previous titles, James Woods voiced the character of a rogue CIA agent who constantly dropped references to his part in wild government conspiracies, and Dennis Hopper played an anarchist hippy.) There are moments in the game that challenge movies for watchable entertainment value.
The main issue though, is that we’re talking solid R-Rated movies here, not harmless action movies featuring plucky kids or talking animals. I think that some people get a little misled by the word, “game,” in video game, and think of harmless Atari and NES era pursuits, like eating power pellets and swinging over lakes of crocodiles. (I maintain that it is impossible to jump over the three crocodile heads in the originial Pitfall without the swinging rope.) But the truth is that the spectrum of games now is so wide, that there is such a thing as a purely adult game. Unfortunately, we parents aren’t all on the same page, so making sure that your children aren’t playing (or exposed to) titles that are too mature for them requires research and communication. And there’s a certain amount of personal judgment that goes into it as well. Some might have no problem with games that involve violence so long as their kids are older and the game takes the side of the “good guys” (e.g. you play as a soldier fighting terrorists–believe me, when various games let you play as anything from a mafioso thug to a professional hitman, this is not an insignificant difference). Other people might put a moratorium on all games that involve any kind of violence or gun play. And some parents might not have any limits at all. So it’s up to us as parents to communicate and do our homework about what kind of game play is appropriate for our kids–and to respect other parents’ boundaries if they are a bit more restrictive than you.
Of course, I’m focusing on content here rather than time spent playing games, which is its own problem, and arguably as serious an issue as game content. Clearly, both need to be managed by careful parents, since umpteen hours playing Hello Kitty’s Island Adventure can be just as harmful in its own way as 20 minutes spent playing Hitman. But it’s up to us to us–not the gaming industry or the government–to police these things in our boys’ lives.
Get the Fun Going for Your Child With Tee Ball!
Submitted by Childn’Parent
With spring here, its time to get your child ready to take off in tee ball! This exciting sport gives children experience in running, coordination, muscle strength and cooperative teamwork skills. Working with your child on basic tee ball drills will help them get ready to play a better game.
Soft Sock Ball Grounders
This fun inside drill helps a child get ready to catch grounders. Roll up one or two socks into a big softball. Have your child stand several feet away and roll the soft sock ball in a straight line toward the child. Have your child practice using the mitt by scooping up the sock ball in a clutch. Point out that the clutched mitt is like an alligator with a mouth that opens and closes. Practicing the alligator clutch over and over will encourage the habit of squeezing the mitt whenever the ball is in it.
Running the Bases
Small children can get easily confused by which way to run, especially during an exciting game. In the backyard or at a park, set up a baseball diamond with three bases and a home plate. Have your child run the bases touching on each one briefly while yelling out which base they are on. This experience helps build confidence and gives your child a directional map so they know which way to run during an actual game.
For great help on sporting drills, coaching your child’s team, selecting a bat and saving money on sporting equipment be sure to read our tee ball article at Childn’ Parent.
Non- Toxic Pets (not so much)-
Submitted by Non-Toxic Kids
The good folks at the Environmental Working Group recently launched Pets for the Environment, a website devoted to keeping pets (and people) safe from toxic chemicals. The website is a fun place for pet owners, is very cute, and has meaningful tips for lessening your pet’s chemical exposure. This is also a helpful read for the parents of young children, who contact many of the same chemicals in many of the same ways (on the floor, in their mouths).
The site includes ways to take action, a detailed body burden report of “Eddie” the spokesdog, and a blog devoted to Eddie. This poor mutt’s chemical load was significantly higher than his human counterparts. Visit the site to learn more about how you can protect your pet from toxic chemicals in our environment.
Photo: Zuby dog from EWG
Going Bananas for Bad Puns
Submitted by Boys and Schools Blog
This little piece of news has been getting a lot of coverage–I think because it lets headline writers indulge their love for cute pun-related headlines–but I still couldn’t resist. Apparently, there may be a connection between a mother’s diet before she conceives and the gender of the baby. More specifically, a good appetite, with a lot of potassium-rich foods (like bananas, hence the journalistic puns), and not skipping breakfast seems to raise the odds of having a boy. The theory goes that the extra calories and nutrients may be needed to help boy babies grow, and that the diet somehow (err. . . .how to put this delicately) makes for a more hospitable situation. (Maybe that was too delicate.)
Anyway, the opposite of the higher calorie, high potassium diet can be associated with low blood sugar, which seems to be a problem for male embryos. It all makes sense (sort of), as it’s fairly well established that boy babies tend to be more likely to encounter complications in utero, so I wouldn’t be surprised to hear that they do better with more calories and nutrients available. Needless to say the scientists behind the study (as well as any good nutritionist or doctor) advise against changing one’s diet drastically in order to influence sex selection–it’s not necessarily healthy, nor is it guaranteed to work. So, if you’re not a fan of bananas, take heart. I hate bananas myself with the passion of a thousand fiery suns. (It’s the texture–they’re so mushy.) But I did have two boys. I will admit, however, that I probably had the 400 extra calories a day covered. I don’t know if that influenced the gender of my babies, but if so, that’s about the only good thing I can say about it.
Body Burden Tests: Dateline Explores Toxic Chemicals in Two Families-
Submitted by Non-Toxic Kids
Thanks to a friend, I learned that Dateline ran a story about the chemical load of two families with starkly different lifestyle choices, and the results were very telling.
The two families’ food choices couldn’t have been more different. One family (the Greens) buy mostly organic food, uses non-toxic cleaners, and lives in a home that was build in a green and chemically conscious fashion. The other family (the Browns) tested was a more typical American family, eating mostly processed and convenience foods, eating lots of fast food, and using conventional (and chemically laden) products.
They tested many of the chemicals we are concerned about and I write about here, including phthalates, fire retardants, perfluorochemicals/PFCs, tricolsan, BPA, lead, mercury and parabens.
The results were suprising. In the end, their total chemical loads were very similar, with only a one point difference. But the message is in the details.
The Browns tested significantly higher for phthalates, which are present in a whole host of items, including cosmetics, paint, food packaging, and plastics. The Browns commented that they microwave in plastic frequently, and they eat a good deal of packaged and prepared foods, increasing the contact with phthalates. Phthalates are linked with problems of the male reproductive system, including testicular cancer and inferitily. Another good case for eating whole, minimumally processed foods!
Both families came in with low levels of fire retardants in their blood, although I would like to know more about what constitutes a “low” rating. In 2005, manufacturers stopped using the most toxic flame retardants, but unfortunately, they remain in many of our homes, in dust, and furniture. Flame retardants have been linked to physical and cognitive development in children, and thyroid problems as adults.
PFCs are coatings on non-stick pans (Teflon), clothing, and food packaging, including fast food containers, microwave popcorn bags, anti-stain coatings on furniture, and they have been linked to many different types of cancers. I’ve been meaning to write an article about PFCs and Teflon for quite some time. I threw out my old, chipped, Teflon pan after I read reports that using it on high heat gives off enough toxic gases to kill a bird in the same room. I apparently missed the memo that you aren’t supposed to heat up Teflon pans beyond medium heat. Now I live with non-crispy hash browns and corn cakes. Just ask my mom, she doesn’t like my Teflon ban. It is hard to tell if the Browns increased numbers for PFC is because of food packaging or use of a Teflon pan. But it is enough for me to continue to have less than stellar crispy, fried foods. And next time I buy furniture, I will not have them apply any stainguard, although I wince at the idea of all the stains that will accumulate with two small kids.
The Green family also had very low levels of triclosan, a bacteria killing pesticide found in hand soaps, cutting boards, and even toys and toothpaste (!?). Dateline states that this chemical is toxic to wildlife, linked to cancer, and bioaccumulates in the food chain over time. It is also a chemical that is showing up in our wastewater treatment plants, rivers and streams. I had heard of this chemical before, but I haven’t been viligant about avoiding it, as I will now be.
Now here’s the shocker. The Green family tested much higher for BPA then the Browns. Turns out they eat a lot of canned refried beans. They didn’t know the lining of the canned foods they were eating contained BPA, in higher amounts than that of the #7 water bottles. I’ve been trying to buy only Eden’s Beans, which are reportedly free of BPA. I’ve also read that Trader Joe’s canned goods do not contain BPA as well.
Both families had low and moderate amounts of parabens present. Parabens are a preservative in cosmetics and body care products, as well as some foods, drinks and medicines (this I did not know). According to Dateline,
“Some parabens can irritate the skin or cause allergic reactions. Laboratory studies indicate that parabens are estrogenic, meaning they can mimic the hormone estrogen, disrupting normal function of the hormone system. In a recent study, traces of 5 different parabens were found in the breast cancer tumors of 19 of 20 women examined. Other lab studies also link parabens to cancer, and to reproductive health problems as well.”
This is enough for me to continue to seek out body care products free of parabens and phthalates.
The mercury levels of both families were low. Maybe they had not dropped a CFC light yet!Finally, the Green family had higher rates of lead in their blood, which was alarming. I wonder if they used salvage materials when building their house, because it was ecologically responsible, and ended up with some lead paint or stain somewhere. This is similar to what happened with our doors. Or it could have been lead in their pipes, tainting their water.
Watch the Dateline video by clicking on the link above, then on the video link.
There are also some great links on the site, including our beloved Environmental Working Group, and a way to take a quiz to estimate your chemical load. I took the quiz, and learned a great deal, for example, I should vaccum more to prevent PFC exposure (not sure if that will ever happen, but it is good to try, right?).
Who’s Afraid of Take Your Kids to Work Day?
Submitted by Boys and Schools Blog
So, tomorrow is the official, “Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day.” If you’re familiar with the history of TODASTWD (no idea if that’s the official acronym or not, but I really hope not–though if anything ever needed an acronym, it would be this day), you know that the inclusion of “and Sons” in the day counts as a minor victory for boys. Or at least a recognition that it’s a bit unfair to dismiss the needs of schoolboys altogether.
If you remember back when it was first introduced, it was just “Take Our Daughters to Work Day.” The whole concept was started by the Ms. Foundation, and it fell nicely into the whole “You Go, Girl,” style feminism that was so big in the ’90s. Obviously, the point was to teach girls about how empowered they were to succeed by taking them to work. This may be the ultimate in upper middle-class ideas. I can just imagine everyone getting excited at the meeting where they first introduced the theme, with people thinking about all the little girls who would be learning about Mommy’s law office or PR firm or college faculty meetings. Or maybe, as someone who has done everything from waiting tables to cleaning on construction sites, I’m just a tad bitter. Anyway, what a lot of people don’t know is that when they first publicized TODTWD (note the lack of, “and Sons,”), boys were left more or less out in the cold. In fact, some of the suggestions about what to do with the boys left behind in school on TODTWD revolved around spending the time teaching boys about the glass ceiling, sexism in America . . . you know, the fun stuff that wouldn’t alienate them at all.
Anyway, I’ve never actually been in or known an office that participates in TODASTWD, so I don’t know if offices actually follow the recommendations on the Foundation website for how to spend the day, but it looks like it has maintained a shred of its roots. Apparently, workplace coordinators are given a number of suggestions on activities to do with the kids that have been brought to work, and several of them are of the, “discuss stereotypes about gender roles in the workplace,” type. As it happened, my own dad did take me to work, long before TODASTWD ever existed. I did what most children do when they end up in workplaces where there is actual, you know, work to be done rather than conscious-raising sessions: I drew on pieces of copier paper, played with the stapler, and probably bothered his secretary more than I should have.
This is not to say that I don’t understand the value of the intent behind TODASTWD. When I was a little older and desperately interested in being a journalist, my parents had a journalist friend of theirs take me to work with her. She covered the Bullets (yes, it was that long ago–they were still the Bullets), and I got to go sit in the press box, watch the reporters work on the story, and attend the post-game interview. It was definitely one of the coolest days ever. And that is the kind of mentorship and inspirational opportunity that can be incredibly valuable to kids–boys and girls. I would just rather the whole Take Your Kids to Work thing focused more on a valuable mentorship or inspirational experience rather than being a day to forward politicized goals.
Troubled at Heart
Submitted by Boys and Schools Blog
We talk a lot about the health risks that men face based on behaviors and choices–that is, the fact that men are less likely to see a doctor at the first signs of a health problem, or that certain ilnesseses (like depression) manifest themselves differently in men and boys. But another side of the issues in male health is the fact that the age-old stereotype of men as the stronger sex is more than a little flawed.
I’m not talking here about stronger in the, “how much ya bench?” sense. It shouldn’t be a revolutionary statement to point out that males have greater upper body strength than women and are generally physically stronger. (I say, “shouldn’t be,” because of course there are plenty of people that would get all worked up about that statement–as though there’s some kind of connection between physical ability and moral worth.) When I talk about the, “stronger,” myth, I’m thinking about general health. And, from facing higher risks of miscarriage and complications in utero to having a shorter life expectancy, health-wise, you can make a pretty firm argument that males are actually the weaker sex.
Take heart disease. It’s the number one cause of death among men, regardless of ethnicity. It’s also the number one cause of death among women, but not only do more men die of it, but men also tend to develop heart disease earlier and are more likely to die of it before age 65. For a long time, men’s health behaviors, from poor diet to avoiding doctors, has been blamed for the high rate of heart disease among men, but now research has indicated that this risk may be present from boyhood. A study to be published in the Journal of the American Heart Association suggests that changes during adolescence (even among healthy boys) raise boys’ cardiovascular risk, while girls may be protected somewhat during their childbearing years. It’s truly startling to think that the risk for heart disease starts increasing even during what many would consider the peak physical period of young adulthood for men. Hopefully, considering the profound devastation that early death from heart disease causes men and their families, this study might lead to more ways to reduce that threat. But it is sobering to realize how vulerable the health of our strong men and boys can be.
