Weights & Measures
Submitted by Barry’s Wine Notes & Memories
Drinking with wine friends is great..one..it’s nice to share and chat about wine..and..two…there is
never difficulty with the amount….usually there is one person who manages the glassful left in the bottle. Drinking alone (sounds bad when you say that!)…means to me, on average, about 0.5 litres….two-thirds of a bottle if you are bad at maths. I could drink a whole bottle of a soft wine…but usually a large glassful remains..and with heavier wines…a half-bottle to be consumed the next evening. This has it’s downfalls..if the air it got leaves you saying next day..’if only I could drink more’. The plus is..it may have developed more. Swings and Roundabouts. Half bottles are fine in this situation…..but I never buy them…because…0.375 is too little. You get my gist. My wife used to help with whites..but she can’t drink red wine. The wine of the previous post was still excellent next day…plus point!
The 6 pack from Spain contained a half of the vintage 2004…no full bottle available..and I thought it will have developed a little more in the demi-bouteille.
Descendientes de J. Palacios
Villa de Corullón 2004
Bierzo, Spain
It spends 12 months in Barrique..and the fruit reminds you of black cherries..and a gentle after-whiff of vanilla. Complex on the palate..and although plenty of power..there is an elegance..crunchy tannins..this is why I started drinking Spanish Wines again a few years ago. A touch of ‘port’ ..like tar maybe…and a long constant finish.
Points 17.5…drink now if you like the style..but a few years in bottle..and you have a little goodie.
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Happy Halloween!
Submitted by Boys and Schools Blog
Happy Halloween everyone!
Faithful readers may recall that I temporarily lost all reason and decided to make a costume for my 4-year-old son, who wanted to be a Jedi for Halloween. My house is now littered with loose threads and tiny scraps of fabric, but my battle against the forces of cotton-linen blends has been won. Unfortunately, now his brother wants a Jedi costume too. I really should have seen that one coming. Actually, my biggest mistake was letting them pick out lightsabers before I was done my other shopping. Every time we paused to look at cereal, get milk, etc., the two of them jumped up to enact an epic lightsaber battle in the middle of the store aisle. Youngest son is going to be Ironman tonight, so we’re totally covered on the superhero front around here. (Their sister is going to be a lamb. That’s what you get when you haven’t yet learned to talk.)
So, since it’s Halloween, how about some weird-ish news? The Guardian reports that a recent study suggests that light drinking during pregnancy may be good for baby boys. No, really:
Boys born to mothers who drank lightly were 40% less likely to have conduct problems and 30% less likely to be hyperactive, even when the differences between social and economic circumstances were taken into account. They also scored more highly in vocabulary tests and were better able to identify shapes, colours, letters and numbers.
There were similar results for girls, but family background played too big a part in the possible explanation for the results. And it was a large study–more than 12,000 children were involved. Needless to say, the researchers involved are reluctant to attribute the findings directly to the consumption of alcohol, pointing out that it may have something to do with social conditions. And others point out that this still leaves big questions about long-term consequences of drinking during pregnancy.
(Obvious disclaimer–this is about light consumption–everyone agrees that heavy consumption is very, very bad. Also, no one who is pregnant should make any drinking decisions whatsoever based on the news in this blog. Though I’ve found that a little light alcohol consumption in the evenings can do wonders for one’s ability to cope with three-year-old boys. . . . Just kidding . . . Please don’t call CPS on me. I never touch the stuff . . . . Except on days that end with “Y.” . . . Wait, that was a joke too . . . Oh no, was that the doorbell?)
So, in summary: there seems to be some kind of connection between mothers who drink lightly in pregnancy and boys with lower incidences of behavior problems and higher test scores. But researchers are reluctant to attribute this directly to the effects of alcohol, because no one wants to encourage pregnant women to drink. (Having been a pregnant woman relatively recently, I can attest that there is a depressingly long list of things that people don’t want you to do.) And since it’s ethically impossible to do anything more than chart these correlations, take it as an interesting factoid and listen to what your obstetrician says. But if you already have a young boy, and you drank lightly during pregnancy, feel free to point out the results of the study to your mother-in-law and anyone else who hassled you about it.
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Youth Sports Shorts: Seeing Is Believing!
Submitted by Dr. Gwenn Is In
Parents don’t let this be you. Keep a cool head on the side lines of your kids’ games and remember you are there for your kids and not to back seat drive in the coach’s or ref’s shoes.
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Trick Or Treat for Fun and Safety!!
Submitted by Dr. Gwenn Is In
Halloween is a much anticipated event in my household, even with my girls solidly in middle school now. I think the attraction of the day is doing some thing so childish no one wants to admit it’s fun. Think about it! How often can we all do the toddler dress up thing and actually get away with it without anyone batting an eye? Plus, don’t forget the sinful treats….
The candy part of Halloween causes a bit of a panic in some families but really shouldn’t. Part of being healthy is learning to eat everything in moderation and that includes the occasional indulgence. The key is to plan for it. Ideally, we’d have all our kids out and about the entire week before to preburn some calories - but that hardly happens. Trick or Treating itself is a calorie burning event so don’t discount that - just keep the candy eating at the end to a piece or two. As the next few days march on, the key is to allow a piece or two of candy but with increased activity. You could even go so far as to make it a cause and effect: if you want candy, you will move more. Making it fun - go outside as a group and walk around the block or toss around a ball. Increase your child’s activity for 20-30 minutes more each day your child eats candy and that will sufficiently buffer the extra calories.
I wouldn’t suggest keeping the candy around indefinitely - after all, it is a treat. In my house, we give it really just the equivalent of a long weekend. In past years, we’ve given away the candy but this year I’ve stumbled upon a new idea: my dentist is collecting candy for $1.00 a piece. That sounds like a great idea!! And, to make good use of the funds, I’m thinking of using that money for Toys For Tots when the winter holidays roll around. I bet your community has some sort of candy swap - make a few calls or check with your dentist.
Finally, since Halloween occurs in the dark, involves costumes that have all sorts of accessories and there are often pumpkins light with candles, it’s important to consider a few simple safety tips. Here’s a list I pulled together a few years ago from tip list put out by the American Academy of Pediatrics and the American Red Cross :
* Costumes: Costumes should be bright and short enough to prevent tripping, entanglement or contact with fire-related objects, like Jack-o-lanterns. All costume material should be flame resistant. Make sure your child’s shoes fit well and that they are dressed for the weather – Halloween is often very chilly! Use make-up instead of masks; masks can block vision.
* Lighting: Carry flashlights, reflective trick-or-treat bags, or the ready-to-use glow sticks to make sure each child is easily seen.
* Supervision: Especially for older kids that are going out without an adult, make sure emergency identification (name, address, phone number) is discreetly tagged within Halloween attire or on a bracelet.
* Pumpkins: Instead of carving pumpkins, consider decorating with markers and paint. Also consider battery-powered lights for the pumpkin instead of candles.
* Path To Your Door: At your home, remove anything a child could trip over such as garden hoses, toys, bikes and lawn decorations. Make sure your outdoor lights are on and the walkways are free of wet leaves. Do not overload electrical outlets with holiday lighting or special effects.
* Route Planning: If your kids are going out alone, make sure everyone knows the route ahead of time. Agree on a specific time when revelers must return home. Make sure someone in the group has a watch and a cell phone for emergencies. Make sure a parent or older teenager accompanies children, especially small children.
* Candy Safety: Wait until children are home to sort and check treats. Throw away any spoiled, unwrapped or suspicious items. Explain to your kids to not snack on the candy until you have a chance to inspect the loot. One way to curtail snacking while out is to make sure your kids have a good dinner before heading out. Avoid “homemade” edible treats – you can’t be sure what is inside.
* Night Safety:
*keep flashlights on
*stay with their groups at all times
*only go to homes with a porch light on
*remain on well-lit streets and use sidewalks
*never cut across yards or use alleys.
*never enter a stranger’s home or car for a treat
*obey all traffic and pedestrian rules
*call 911 for any suspicious or unlawful activity.
Have a great time and enjoy the fantasy that the evening brings to our lives - and be safe!
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Over- (Or Perhaps Under-) Generalizing
Submitted by Boys and Schools Blog
There is a tendency to hyperbole in . . . well, just about every human endeavor, and advocacy and education are especially vulnerable to it. Most of the time, we spot it for the rhetorical device that it is and move on. Sometimes, however, it leads to all kinds of confusion and misunderstanding. And possibly bad policy, if left unchecked. And gender issues are a good place to see this problem in action.
When I say to a group of parents, “boys and girls are different,” you can almost feel the unspoken, “duh,” that greets my less-than-insightful comment. But make that statement in a policy or advocacy context, and it gets inflated with all sorts of baggage. (”Are you saying that boys are better? That girls are? That there are no way in which they are the same? Because that’s wrong, you know.” ) Of course it is. That statement suggests none of these things–it’s a simple statement being interpreted out of all reason.
And the same goes when you observe the boys and girls tend to learn differently–or heck, when you observe any difference between boys and girls that isn’t strictly anatomical. So it doesn’t matter how accurately you point out that, “boys tend to learn differently from girls,” or, “most boys prefer action-oriented fiction,” someone will pop up to claim that you are being sexist or that you are wrong because they can think of some exceptions to your general point. Even though it contradicts nothing. Of course there are exceptions. That’s why you say, “tend,” and “most,” and, “in general.” But the fact that there are exceptions doesn’t negate the value of the general observation.
What brings this to mind today are the comments on brain research and its promise to change education in today’s Washington Post, specifically, this quote:
One of the major problems we face is that there are a whole lot of things that claim to be ‘brain-based education’ that are nonsense,” he said. “One of them is the belief that boys and girls have totally different brains and learn totally differently. That’s not what the evidence shows. Not at all.
Hmmm. Interesting. I’m not aware of any reputable source anywhere that his made this claim. Talk about your straw men. What I have read and heard is that there are some differences between male and female brains and that boys and girls tend to learn certain things (more effectively) in different ways. Not remotely the same thing at all, and certainly supported by scientific evidence. Hyperbole strikes again.
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A Backpack Too Heavy To Lift Shouldn’t Be On A Kid’s Back!
Submitted by Dr. Gwenn Is In
It’s a fashion statement, comes in different shapes and sizes, can be used for a workout, plays music, reflects your child’s inner personality, and holds the answer keys to the entire school year. Any guesses? Your child’s backpack!
Both my girls are in middle school – 6th and 8th grade. My husband picked up each of their back packs the other day, a backpack in each hand, and noted they were better than his dumbbells down stairs. We are amazed they can even walk to school wearing those things - without falling backwards! And, worry about the impact of the weight on their growing spines. And, believe it or not, this is without their books in tow. The school gives the kids copies to keep in home. The backpacks “just” have their required school-approved binders and lunch - a plan created to keep backpack weights reasonable.
The school requires each student to have a 2-3 inch binder with a folder per class. If that were actually followed, perhaps the backpacks would meet the recommendation of kids carrying only 20% of their body weight. But, many classes require extra binders and that is where the problems begin. Once those 2-3 inch binders get stuffed, the weight piles on very, very quickly and the schools all too often fail to consider that. The final issue is too many schools require kids to carry around all their papers all the time. Why do they need papers from September in November? Can’t they keep a copy in class?
If the school followed their own rules (just the required binder without extra binders), kids emptied their folders once in a while, kids wore back packs that were only 10-15% of their body weights and they wore the packs properly(see picture below), perhaps their backs stood a chance – but we know none of this is happening enough. But, the “wrong!” picture below is what you see all too often and is what will create life long back and neck problems as adults for our kids.
When your child gets home from school today, try picking up the backpack, if you can’t, it’s too heavy. Then weight the back pack and your child, if they weigh the same or the back pack is heavier than your child, the back pack is too heavy. And, if your child has any neck, back or shoulder complaints, think backpack first.
My husband and I are planning on doing something about this in our town – and you should look into this in your town. Our kids back futures are at stake – otherwise, guaranteed, they will end up with slipped discs and back pain when much younger than all of us.
You know, our world is computerized. Why not let the kid in middle school and high school do most of their work on computer? A memory stick is a heck of a lot lighter than a 2-3 inch overstuffed trapper keeper.
You can learn more about proper backpack safety here.
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Flu Shot or Not?
Submitted by Childn’Parent
Flu season is on its way. Though getting a flu shot may seem like a no brainer to some, at $20 a shot for my family of six, I want to know if it’s really necessary.
New Jersey recently passed a law requiring flu shots for all pre-school and elementary school kids. Some parents are happy because it will mean their kids are less likely to pick up the flu at school. Others are furious that the government is regulating medical procedures for their children they see as risky and unnecessary.
According to the CDC the number of Americans getting the flu in a particular year could be as low as 5 percent or as high as 20 percent of the population. More than 200,000 people are hospitalized and 36,000 people die. Those most likely to die of influenza and related complications are the elderly and other immune compromised people.
Members of “priority groups” will get flu shots first if, as in recent years, there are shortages. This high-risk group includes:
• Children aged 6 to 23 months
• Children over 2 years old with chronic health conditions
• Children who are taking long term aspirin therapy
• Household members of children less than 6 months of age, since these babies are too young to get a flu shot themselves
• Women who will be pregnant during the flu season
• Residents of long-term care facilities
• Adults with any condition that weakens the immune system
• Any person in close contact with someone in a high-risk group, such as healthcare workers.
People who should not get a flu shot include:
• Anyone who’s severely allergic to eggs (ingredients for flu shots are grown inside eggs)
• Infants under 6 months old
• Anyone who’s ever had a severe reaction to a flu vaccination (although most people do not experience any side effects from the flu shot)
• Anyone with Guillain-Barré syndrome (GBS), a rare condition that affects the immune system and nerves
• Anyone with a fever
Flu shots are made of dead influenza virus cells and cannot give your child the flu. A nasal mist vaccination is available for children over 2. This is a live vaccine and your child could develop flu symptoms.
Some parents worry about the preservative Thimrosal contained in some vaccines can cause autism. Studies have shown no measurable connection. Thimrosal-free shots are available.
Flu shots are available at a variety of locations including some stores and pharmacies and your county health department. Most HMOs will only cover flu shots if they are given at your pediatrician’s office. You will then only be asked to pay your required co-pay. The flu shot cannot keep your children from getting other kinds of viral infections and may not even prevent some influenza strains.
The best way to ensure your child stays healthy this winter is to wash hands often, avoid crowds, and never share cups or eating utensils.
Find more great child health articles and Child n’Parent
By: Megan Wallgren
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What Really Matters To You? Vicky and Jen say “simplicity and family values”, and I agree!
Submitted by Dr. Gwenn Is In
Vicky and Jen just celebrated their 100th show and I had the wonderful opportunity to be invited to take part in this amazing event. 100 podcasts - that’s an amazing achievement…a great deal of advice and, as I ribbed them when we chatted, a great deal of words! But, if you ever listened to their show you’d realize that words come easy to these two moms which is the true secret ingredient to the show’s success.
The description of the big 100 is telling of Vicky and Jen’s overall goals: “There are now 100 simple ways to make an impact on the way your family values it’s time…You’ll hear what’s new, what’s coming and how they’re keeping it simple.”
Vicky and Jen share my view on keeping it real and we never run out of topics to chat about. What you’ll love is they have gathered experts on all sorts of topics from cooking to organizing that all have the same goals - to help you keep life simple to give you more time with your families. They have a number of regular guests now, including me. You can check out my series, Easy Pediatrics, here (just scroll to the bottom of the page).
This is going to be a nutty week with Halloween. To start the week in the right frame of mind, my advice is to take the phone off the hook, turn on your out of office assistant on your computer, my new best friend which I’m fondly nicknaming “OOOfA”, pour your self a large cup of coffee, and hit the play to listen to the the podcast.
BTW, as I’ve slowly returned to the world of the awake and walking over the last 2 weeks, I’ve so fallen in love with my “OOOfA” that I’m pondering a post called “Ode to the Out Of Office Assistant”…so stay tuned!
To learn more about Vicky and Jen, click here.
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The Universal Boy Question
Submitted by Boys and Schools Blog
Recently, a guest posted a question to the comments section of the blog, and I think it’s worthy of addressing on its own. The poster wrote:
‘The Trouble With Boys.’ This topic has played a role in my son’s entire academic life and demonstrative introverted personality continuance forever. He is a great kid, but I’ve been trying to ‘read him’ for almost sixteen years now. He has always been quiet and non-expressive of feelings. As time has progressed, he has seemed to ‘deteriorate’ with his interests in learning in school. He is very mechanical and athletically inclined, but his stubborness to apply himself has led me to question everything from his teachers to his ‘way of learning’, to even considering dyslexia or just categorizing his majority lack of effort in school as a lack of personal maturity. Any Ideas?
It’s almost an eternal question: Why won’t my smart son apply himself? The problem is that, without more information, it’s impossible to diagnose the problem and prescribe possible solutions. Still, there are some constants, so if you’re a parent facing this kind of difficulty, here are some things to consider:
1. If your son’s troubles represent a change in personality; if he is having problems with a lack of focus, dropping grades, or withdrawing from friends or family; if he has been especially irritable or abnormally sensitive–then you may want to see a specialist about an emotional disorder (like depression). It’s possible for boys who are suffering from depression to be misdiagnosed as having a behavioral problem, as they can manifest similarly.
2. If this is not a case of a possible emotional, behavioral, or learning disorder–but rather a more prosaic lack of motivation at school, then it may be time to look more carefully into what’s going on at school. (A quick hint on motivation versus disorder. If your son is able to focus and concentrate for significant amounts of time on things that he enjoys or is interested in, and only has problems with certain subjects, you’re probably looking at a motivation problem.)
3. It’s common for boys to have more difficulties in language based classes, as they can be uncomfortable with the learning techniques involved, feel frustrated or impatience, or feel like the teacher doesn’t “get” them. Try talking to his teachers about the problem. Use your knowledge of your child to suggest solutions and approaches. (E.g. grammar puzzles to help with writing, book subjects and genres he enjoys to help his reading, etc.)
4. Consider other community resources. Look into local mentoring opportunities–especially ones that include men. If he has a specific interest, see about how involvement in an extracurricular activity can be used to enrich his school experience (again, work with his teachers) or be used as a reward for academic effort.
5. Set clear expectations and boundaries.
6. Sometimes, you may want to look into what other schooling options you might have. (If his school seems like an irretrievably bad match.) Consider looking into charter schools, single-sex schools, other schools in the area, etc. Different students will blossom under different learning methods, so don’t consider this an indictment of his current school–he may just need a different approach or environment.
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The Sound of Imagination
Submitted by Boys and Schools Blog
I may have temporarily lost my mind, because I’m sewing a jedi constume for the 4 year-old this year. You may recall that we have been witness to an ongoing and epic jedi battle for the last week or so, that has ranged all over the house. It’s a little hard to keep up with from a parent’s perspective, as the identity of the bad guy seems to change arbitrarily and there are frequent interruptions by Spiderman, Ironman and Optimus Prime. Anyway, the whole thing has reminded me of some of the things that I love about watching boys at play.
Today, what really gets me are the sound effects. I realize that I’m generalizing here, but if there was a national assessment for sound effect capabilities, I think we would see the birth of a movement to create specialized sound effect enrichment programs for girls to help them close the gender gap. In the last ten minutes alone, I’ve heard lasers, lightsabers, a train, a jet plane taking off, a robot, and the sound that is made when a robot transforms into a car (it’s a sort of a clanking mixed with a revving engine). To the outsider, or the exhausted mom wishing for just a few minutes of relative quiet, it seems like nothing but noise and action, but if you think about it, you’re really seeing imagination and creativity at work–both things that you can harness to help boys learn. That’s why I tend to choose books that allow me to add sound effects when I read aloud with our boys. For one thing, this means that I’m generally picking books with a lot of action, which is a genre which is more interesting to them. In addition, adding the drama of sound effects to the story goes a long way towards getting them interested in it. Add to that the fun of letting them help and add their own sounds, and you’ve got an interactive reading experience. They probably won’t even realize that they’re learning.
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Encourage Your Child To Read For Pleasure
Submitted by Childn’Parent
Give your child a gift that will last a lifetime! Encourage them to read for pleasure. Children who read for pleasure have active imaginations and enjoy learning.
When reading, children must use their imagination. With the expansion in the visual technology industries like television and video games, children do not commonly use their imagination. Books open up a world where your child has to visualise what is happening, rather than rely on pictures from other people.
Reading will broaden your child’s horizons and take them into new and exciting worlds. The Harry Potter books are popular because they allow the children to escape their life and enjoy the different world of wizardry. Children who read for pleasure tend to be adventurous and willing to explore the world they find themselves in, because books encourage exploring new ideas.
Teachers have noticed extraordinary differences in the scholastic achievements between children who read for pleasure and children who do not. Children who read during school holidays are more likely to excel in writing and in spelling.
Reading allows your child to see words in different contexts, which can aid comprehension. The more you see how a word is used, the more likely you are to use the word correctly in your own vocabulary. Seeing the words correctly spelt will help your child to learn spelling. Your child’s writing skills will increase by reading sentences and seeing how paragraphs link together.
Children who read for pleasure are even able to socialise with others better. Despite being a solitary activity, reading encourages an understanding of how people relate to each other as the characters in books form relationships.
Readers learn about consequences of actions and logical progression because books always follow a logical sequence of events, and characters must deal with the consequences of their actions.
Often children who read for pleasure will perform well in written tests, because they are more likely to understand the phrasing of the questions, and will be able to write their answers with clarity.
Allowing your child to choose the books to read encourages an interest in reading. Even books that are not “educational” will bring benefits to your child’s learning and scholastic progress.
Ensure your child chooses a book at the right level. If it is too difficult, the child may become discouraged. If the book is too easy to read, your child may become bored and decide to play a video game instead.
Parents can encourage reading by regular trips to a library to exchange books. You can make this a family trip. Try turning off the television set sometimes in the evenings or on weekends. When everyone in the family sits together, reading their own books, your children will see reading as fun, relaxing, and a reasonable form of entertainment.
You can read with your children. Reading books aloud allows children to hear the characters in a different way, and develops good listening skills. Remembering how you spent time each week reading a book together will be a precious memory when your child grows up.
Reading books aloud to your child gives you a chance to broaden your child’s vocabulary. Choose a book that is slightly beyond their current understanding, and explain any confusing terms.
Give your child time to sit and enjoy the experiences of reading. Reading is an activity that can be enjoyed anywhere, so encourage your child to pack a book when travelling in the car.
Children who learn how to read for pleasure will reap the benefits in their schoolwork, and will have fun using their imagination in ways technological forms of entertainment do not allow. Broaden your child’s horizons and give them the gift of reading for pleasure.
Find more great parenting tips at Child n’Parent.
By: Hayley Hunkin
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M V Consulting donates to Ronald McDonald House Charities on behalf of the Madden Cordero Memorial
Written by Michael Vass
Well now that I shared the less than pleasant events that took place for me on Saturday night, let me share with you the great events of the day that preceded the night.
Saturday was the 1st Annual Pig Roast Memorial for Madden Cordero. I had mentioned that I would be attending this charity event previously. And the trip up to Hagaman New York was uneventful unlike the trip back.
Once at Tom’s Tavern I took the chance to look around. Hagaman, New York is a quiet town just outside of Amsterdam. It’s a nice place and filled with interesting people. Tom’s Tavern is a nice local establishment, filled with local humor and more than 20 trophies that the bar’s sponsored APA team has won over the years. In addition there are several Darts trophies as well. The bar is well stocked with a variety of liquor, and there are plenty of seats inside.
One thing that you may not notice upon entering the bar is something pointed out to be that day by Tom the owner. On a top shelf on the right behind the bar are 3 shot classes. Each is filled with a drink. Those 3 shots are for Tom, his dearly loved mother who passed recently at the age of 93, and Madden Cordero whom the event was being held in honor of.
The event had several items donated for it, including use of Tom’s Tavern, much of the food, several bottles of liquor, and other items. One local liquor store, upon hearing what the event was raising money for, chose to forgo giving liquor and drinks. Instead they chose to make a donation directly to the Ronald McDonald House Charities on behalf of Madden Cordero. 100% of the funds raised at the event went to RMHC on behalf of Madden Cordero.
At the event there were several pig that were roasted, hamburgers, Italian sausages, baked ziti, roasted peppers, several types of salad and more. Several kegs of beer were available as well as drinks at the bar.
This was perfect as there were several families there, with children as young as 6 months on up at the event. I arrived early and stayed until about 7pm and counted a couple dozen people at the event, and I am aware of a couple dozen more that were to attend the event later that night. There was no planned end time to the event, and the DJ arrived at 5:30pm with plans to be there a long time.
If I were to say that the event was successful and fun, I would be underestimating and belittling the spirits at the event.
When I had the chance I was able to speak with Gregg Cordero and present him with a check for $200 dollars.
In addition I also gave him a mug, found at my online store, which states that “Character is forever”. And obviously the character of Gregg Cordero shone through the event and the dedication and love he had for his son.
And I also presented Gregg with a mouse pad (which oddly he did not have in his office he confided), also found at the online store, which states “I am the myth”. Again I felt this exemplified Gregg in that he defies the myth of fathers that don’t care (which the major media seems to believe) and lived up to the mythos of what fathers should be.
The event was a great day overall. Hundreds of dollars, if not thousands, were raised at the event and have been directly donated to the Ronald McDonald House Charities on behalf of Madden Cordero. It was refreshing to see all the individuals that contributed and supported the event, as well as multiple companies across New York State, especially in a time of economic instability. It just proves that some things are worthy no matter how much money is in a 401K, or how badly Congress does it’s job.
I am happy to have supported and donated to this worthy cause. I’m looking forward to next years event, and plan on making a substantially greater donation. I encourage all my readers to make a donation as well, and for those concerned that they can only donate $5 or $10 dollars I offer you this idea.
You can donate via the donation widget on the sites of M V Consulting, Inc and I will ensure that at the end of this year all the monies collected will go directly to the Ronald McDonald House Charities. Again I will donate 100% of all monies collected via the donation widget at the sites of M V Consulting, Inc at the end of 2008, so never worry about your donation being too small – even 50 cents helps and adds up with everyone else.
Grammar Games, Gender Differences, and Depression
Submitted by Boys and Schools Blog
This past weekend, I attended the annual conference of the National Association for Single-Sex Public Education. (As you may have guessed, they promote the advantages of single-sex programs and seek to expand their reach and exposure.) It was a great Conference and very informative. Some highlights:
The always delightful Dr. Abigail James spoke about strategies and methods for teaching both boys and girls. Dr. James has great energy and plenty of tales from the classroom, as she is still an active teacher. She had some great suggestions for different ways to help boys learn writing (one of the larger gender gaps where girls far outscore boys), and I especially liked the suggestion to create grammar “puzzles” by cutting up the individual words in a sentence (or sentences in a paragraph) for boys to put back together in order to learn paragraph or sentence structure. (Hint: don’t use capitals or punctuation for individual sentence puzzles, and for paragraphs, make each full sentence one full line so that you don’t accidentally create a physical puzzle instead of a grammatical one.)
Another particularly interesting presentation was from Dr. Roy Baumeister, Professor of Psychology and Director of Social Psychology at Florida State University. Dr. Baumeister was speaking in favor of the sadly controversial notion that men and women are different, though equal. He hit on a lot of issues relating to trends and preferences between men and women, but the one that really struck me was when he dipped a toe into the waters of evolutionary biology. He pointed out that, of all the people who have ever lived, only about 30% of men have a living ancestor today (compared to something like 60-70% of women). His point was that if there is anything at all to evolutionary theory, than the characteristics that made up that successful 30% are going to be very different than the successful majority of women–which may explain the competitive and risk-taking inclinations of men. There was a quite a bit more to that talk, and I don’t want to oversimplify it (too late), but I’ve been pestering everyone I know with the 30% figure ever since. (Also, did you know that most everyone alive in Mongolia today can trace some ancestry to Genghis Khan? That guy really got around.)
Myself, I was at the conference to speak about boys and depression. As I’ve said before, boys’ depression manages to combine all the complexity of men’s depression (the stigma, the unwilingness to admit a problem or seek help, etc.) with the complexity of children’s and adolescent depression (the difficulty in determining the depth of the problem, the possibility that the child or teen doesn’t recognize their own feelings of sadness, the acting-out behaviors, and so on). Given that this conference was attended by a large number of teachers, we agreed that it was especially important to stress how boys’ depression often manifests itself through acting-out behaviors that can be mistaken for ADHD or other behavioral problems. Depression causes a lack of concentration, which can result in falling grades, combine this with behavioral troubles coming from the fact that depression often manifests as extreme sensitivity and irritability in youngsters, and you can see how those around a depressed boy may come to exactly the wrong conclusion about what’s troubling him. (Which is why caregivers and teachers need to be aware that in cases where ADHD is suspected, it is important to screen for depression as well–and that one should go to a qualified specialist for such an assessment.)
At any rate, I’m very grateful to NASSPE for inviting me to speak at the conference, and I hope that their other attendees found it as interesting and helpful as I did.
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Living Room Battle Royale
Submitted by Boys and Schools Blog
As I write this, two very young jedi knights are doing battle in my living room. It has been an epic battle, wandering from the kitchen to the upstairs bedroom, and now finally to the couch–and it has ranged over several days, with breaks only to eat, sleep, and watch “The Backyardigans.” It is also complex, as one of the jedi in question occasionally turns bad and becomes a Sith Lord with a double-sided lightsaber. Which is negated somewhat by the fact that the other jedi occasionally transforms into Optimus Prime. (Alas, Optimus Prime has a tendency to whine about fair sword distribution and a lack of orange juice. But on the bright side, at least he doesn’t accidentally spray saliva at you as part of his double-lightsaber sound effect.)
There is a fair amount of jumping off of things, running, sword-slashing, tackling, and wrestling going on, in a way that most other parents of boys would ruefully recognize. (I once had a good friend with two young boys of her own tell me, in awed tones, about a trip to a friend’s house, where the daughters of the house sat and colored while speaking in conversational tones the whole time.) When you have active boys, it’s tough not to feel a little on-trial when your sons are re-enacting galactic battles while the girls in the group hold an intelligent and civilized discussion about books they enjoy. So when my two jedis are creating havoc, I resort to my boy-havoc mantra: “This is good for them. This is good for them. Ommmmmm.”
It is good for them, by the way. Some studies have even suggested that there is a learning element involved in boys’ rough and tumble play–a socialization factor that helps boys understand how to interact well in male groups. It’s certainly true enough that, speaking to men about male relationships and confrontation, that there’s a more intricate set of rules governing that interaction than may appear to the untutored eye. So, while there are time and place issues, of course, don’t worry about your boys’ tendency to embrace rough and tumble play. Think of it as a complicated learning process.
Oh, and because it has to be said: Han shot first.
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Dr. Gwenn Vs. The Herniated Disc: The Final Chapter and a Short Blogging Pause
Submitted by Dr. Gwenn Is In
If only herniated discs were like real people…then they’d know to never irritate busy moms for too long or interfere with our ability to juggle at least a thousand balls in the air at once. Now it’s my turn to fight back!
I’ve been rather patient with my disc and given it ample time to come to it’s senses. Clearly it is just a bit too happy living in it’s new home stuck somewhere between where it should be living in my spine and a path to my left leg! Seeing as that is not working out so well for my left leg, I’ve asked a very amazing surgeon to teach that disc why freeloading in new anatomic homes for too long is a bad idea. By this time tomorrow, that disc will wish it had packed it’s bags months ago!
I’ll be taking a short blogging pause to recuperate but will be back very soon sharing all my experiences as a doctor turned patient. Believe it or not, a colleague suggested I bring my laptop to the hospital but I decided my surgeon would not be amused walking into my room with the drape pulled seeing a sign that reads: “Come Back In 10 minutes…Blogger At Work!”
Much thanks for your kind words of support and inspiration since this ordeal first began. This chapter may be over soon for me, but our conversation on the medical system is just beginning.
One thing is for sure - after tomorrow, my other lumbar discs will know to not mess with a busy doctor mom on a blogging mission!
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Lessons From Jaime Lynn: Teens Don’t Learn From Mistakes
Submitted by Dr. Gwenn Is In
If you have kids at home, when do you plan on taking with them about “the birds and the bees”? If your plan is to wait until they either ask or are teensagers, you need to hit the drawing board again. That plan just doesn’t work and I have proof: Jaime Lynn Spears. As if getting pregnant at 16 wasn’t bad enough, US News reported this week that the now 17 year old Jaime Lynn is 8 weeks pregnant with her second child.
So, when is the ideal time to talk with kids about sex and sexuality? As soon as they are true tweens, around 8-9 years of age when puberty hits, at least on the inside. As I discussed recently, we can no longer just talk about the nuts and bolts of reproduction without a discussion of the consequences and issues of sexuality. When kids are young, we have to keep those latter discussions very rudimentary and introductory but we should introduce the concepts. The more our children understand that lust is not love but that both can produce a baby, the better protected our children will be from unwanted pregnancies before they are mature enough and financially prepared for the responsibility of raising a baby.
If only have to look at the Gloucester Massachusetts 17 from last summer to know how true this all is. By all reports, those girls were looking for a connection and had poor self-esteems. They didn’t feel they could talk to their parents and many had poor home lives. Feeling loved and creating a life game those girls a sense of purpose but at a very, very huge and life-long price.
Their very public story has prompted a national dialogue on teenage contraception and revisited how we should be discussing sex and sexuality within our own families. This week The Boston Channel reported that the Gloucester School Committee ruled that contraception will be made available in the the Gloucester High School but with a parental opt out option. This seems like an empty victory to many because 65% of students in that high school admit to being sexually active and 49% report not being able to talk openly with their parents about sex. That said, most of the teens surveyed did feel having contraception available in school is a good idea.
If that survey isn’t a wake up call then I don’t know what is! Parents, you can’t control your teens behavior with an “opt out” clause on a form, but you can guide them as they get older with multiple well timed and thoughful conversations and good listenting skills - just be sure you check the judgemental attitude at the door and you’ll do just fine.
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Jessy’s Story
Submitted by Childn’Parent
I am a mom of 2 (almost 3) due November 17th, 2008 Yikes! It’s getting close. I have an 8 year old, Bella, and a 4 (almost 5 year old), Sophia, and I am having another little girl. Her name will be Skarlet.
When I went from having one kid to 2 kids, I knew that it was going to be hard and it was. Bella became very, very jealous of Sophia, and ever since she was born Bella has not been the nicest big sister. I have tried explaining to her that she got just as much attention as Sophia did when she was her age, but she is still jealous and acting out and trying to boss Sophia around.
Part of the reason, I think, has to do with Sophia’s father somewhat coming around. Bella gets very mad and sad and jealous. Bella’s father didn’t see her at all until she was probably around 2, and for a few years saw her on Christmas and her birthday. But for the past 2 or 3 years he hasn’t been around at all and I get so angry and I feel so bad. I don’t understand how a father could just not care about his child enough to even call her once in a while, so I have had a hard time with Bella. She acts out a lot!
So, in February I got married to a wonderful guy and we got pregnant. He is really excited. He loves Bella and Sophia very much but I think he is super excited to have a child of his own. The pregnancy was rough with morning sickness and the marriage was kind of in a shambles for a while but it’s getting better and I think everything will work out, but I do have some concerns with both kids when this baby comes. I try and give my older kids as much as I can right now before the baby comes, swim lessons, alone time with each of them etc. but I still think there still will be issues.
I think they are excited about the baby coming but at the same time there will be times when Sophia is throwing a fit and she will threaten to hit my tummy and that really worries me. I also have decided to home preschool Sophia so that we have our one on one time together while the baby is napping and what not, I am hoping this will help.
If any of you have any suggestions on anything or have been through similar things as far as jealousy, a father that isn’t around etc.
I would love to hear from you, I’m so stressed out over it all it would help to know that I’m not alone.
Thank you for listening,
Jessy
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On Men and Depression
Submitted by Boys and Schools Blog
This weekend, I’ll be at the annual conference for the National Association for Single-Sex Public Education, speaking about depression and boys. Boys’ depression is a complicated issue, as it combines the difficulties of dealing with child or adolescent depression (the acting out, behavioral shifts and difficulties, etc.) with the difficulties of dealing with men’s depression (the social stigma, perceptions that to seek help would be “unmanly”, and so on). For anyone who is interested in learning more about men’s depression, I highly recommend visiting the Men Get Depression website for more information. (Not to mention the resources available on the Men’s Health Network site as well.)
To be honest, it has been hard not to get caught up in the emotion of the subject while I’ve been researching it. I’ve read heartbreaking story after story–all of which are being told with the hope that the listener takes the message the need to recognize problems before they become severe–this can be especially difficult in boys and men who tend to express such problems through anger or risky behavior (such as alcoholism or drug abuse–which can sometimes be symptoms of a mental illness). For more on men and depression, here’s a snippet of the Men Get Depression video:
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Be Active Your Way and Every Day, Says New Government Report
Submitted by Dr. Gwenn Is In
Health experts love guidelines, especially on fitness and exercise. Just a quick show of virtual hands - how many of you find most of these useless and near impossible to fit into your own busy lives? Wow - that’s a lot of hands in the air!
Thanks to the hard work of the Department of Health and Human Services, that abysmal track record for exercise and fitness guidelines took a course change in the right direction yesterday with the release of HHS’ Physical Activity Guidelines For Americans.
These new guidelines are not only worth reading, but following. They work for kids, adults and people with health conditions. They are practical and take into account not only the lives people currently lead but people’s individual tastes in exercise and athletic activities.
The overall theme for these new guidelines is to “Be Active Your Way” and the HHS website has a number of resources to help you get on your way. The two biggest features are stepping it up slowly over time and being active for life. They also emphasize the importance of starting off on a reasonable pace and building slowly over time to your ultimate goal. Pacing is very important and can’t be underestimated. It is tempting to go with your adrenaline flow and enter a new activity with gusto but you’ll only end up hurt without proper training and conditioning. Moreover, you’re more likely to stick to long term exercise if you avoid burnout and injury. This is why I’ve been emphasizing “small changes, big results” for so long and working hard to find fitness and exercise experts to bring you realistic advice to help you and your kids stay healthy and fit in a way that works for your busy lives.
The actual guidelines take into account that different ages have different exercise needs.
For example:
- Kids and teens: 1 hours of moderate to vigorous aerobic exercise daily. “Examples of moderate intensity aerobic activities include hiking, skateboarding, bicycle riding and brisk walking. Vigorous intensity aerobic activities include bicycle riding, jumping rope, running and sports such as soccer, basketball and ice or field hockey. Children and adolescents should incorporate muscle-strengthening activities, such as rope climbing, sit-ups, and tug-of war, three days a week. Bone-strengthening activities, such as jumping rope, running and skipping, are recommended three days a week.
- Adults: 2 1/2 hours a week of moderate aerobic activity or 1 hr and 15 minutes of moderate physical activity. “Walking briskly, water aerobics, ballroom dancing and general gardening are examples of moderate intensity aerobic activities. Vigorous intensity aerobic activities include racewalking, jogging or running, swimming laps, jumping rope and hiking uphill or with a heavy backpack… Adults should incorporate muscle strengthening activities, such as weight training, push-ups, sit-ups and carrying heavy loads or heavy gardening, at least two days a week.”
Even if you decide to not follow the plan to the t, the core values of the new guidelines are worth noting and putting on your refrigerator as your family’s weekly exercise and fitness plan:
- “Regular physical activity improves health for young and old and reduces the risk of disease.”
- “Some physical activity is better than none; the more physically active you are, the more benefits you reap.“
- “Be safe as well as active.”
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Weighty Stuff
Submitted by Boys and Schools Blog
I don’t want to give the impression that I’m not aware of the myriad problems in using the BMI as an indicator of health, much less among children. Heck, I checked out one of the BMI charts that is supposed to be specially calibrated for children, and found that my abnormally tall and lanky beanpole of a 4 year-old was overweight by their calculations. This is someone who has knobby knees and such a paucity of baby chub that I worry that people think he’s malnourished. Thankfully, our pediatrician uses a different kind of weight/height calculation, so I haven’t had to endure the irritation of being told that I need to watch his weight. I can think of few things more upsetting as the mom of an active (and ravenous) boy than to be told that your son needs to be put on a diet. But, at the same time, I have to recognize that obesity is a real problem for many boys, and that learning about good nutrition and fitness is a valuable thing. Even if I’m not crazy about using the BMI as the measurement for it. I will at least admit that one of the things that we certainly lack is a good way to measure such things objectively–probably because of the diversity of body types, not to mention that body type and mass don’t necessarily correlate to health or athleticism. But I do have a point here other than damning the BMI with faint praise.
However, accepting for the moment that the BMI is a flawed, but still useful, measure, there is some interesting news from Arkansas, where a controversial law had mandated BMI screenings for children in public schools. Taking off my libertarian beanie for a moment (which I only occasionally wear, and which certainly won’t be helpful to this conversation), since the advisability of such a measure isn’t in question here, it was interesting that a recent study found that (perhaps contrary to expectations), the mandatory screening did not seem to result in any weight-based teasing. So that’s good anyway.
Ok, I have to admit, I’m having a lot of trouble getting on board with the mandatory screenings, even given the fact that Arkansas has a higher than average level of juvenile obesity. I’m glad that it hasn’t resulted in more teasing–that’s certainly encouraging. But I can’t help but wonder about the long-term effects of public measuring of student’s BMI in relation to self-esteem, body image, healthy attitudes about food and weight, etc. (Boys get eating disorders too, you know.) And then there’s the questionable merit of the BMI in general. I don’t know. Obesity is a serious problem, but I know I wouldn’t be happy to hear that my son or daughter was going to have to participate in BMI measuring in school. Anyone out there familiar with this program want to weigh in?
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From Lab To Life: Exotic Pets, and the Flu Shot
Submitted by Dr. Gwenn Is In
Medical and scientific journals contain where we sort out the practical side of clinical medicine. While some studies have conclusions we can grasp onto today, others make us pause and want to learn more.
Two studies in this month’s journal Pediatrics caught my eye as being very relevant to most families I know. One study involves a family’s choice of pet and the other involves a very seasonal topic -the flu shot.
First up, exotic pets. Exotic pets to experts are what many people have in their homes as I type this post: hamsters, hedgehogs, turtles, iguanas. The news on these pets isn’t new - they carry bacteria, especially Salmonella. What concerns experts is that the homes that tend to have the pets also have very small children and those are the kids at most risk for becoming sick from Salmonella.
There is another issue with pets that we need to be realistic with: the cost. In today’s economy, pets are expensive and many families are finding that a huge burden as the pets grow. The Boston Channel reported yesterday that pets are being abandoned or brought to shelters at alarming rates. This is a public health situation given how many families have exotic pets. Families contemplating giving up their family pet should consult their vet, local pet store or animal control officer to locate shelters and pet adoption centers in their communities.
Next up, the flu. This year, the flu shot recommendations have been expanded to include more kids and adults than ever before. The new recommendation is for kids ages 6 months through 18 years, and the flu shot supply is already available at doctor’s offices across the country ready to be dispersed. This is a marked improvement from last year - huh?
The biggest issue with the flu is that it is 100% nondiscriminatory. It doesn’t care who it strikes. Young, old, sick or healthy, the Influeneza virus will attempt to strike everyone it possibly can. Everyone’s best defense is the annual flu shot. If people don’t get the flu, they also won’t get the complications of the flu which tend to be what causes the fatalities.
In this month’s Pediatrics, researchers from the CDC discovered that many of the children who died in past flu seasons had been previously health and had died of MRSA, methicillin resistant Staph Aureus, as a complication of the flu. This reinforces that the expansion of the flu vaccine recommendations and that we all need to get our kids an annual flu shot.
I’ll be tracking the flu for you as the season progresses on Pediatrics Now. But, again, your best defenense against the flu is a good offense - and the best offense for the flu is the flu vaccine. So, be wise and get your kids (and yourselves) flu immunized!
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Aggravated on Aggression
Submitted by Boys and Schools Blog
Ok, I’m going to try to choose my words carefully here, as it’s pretty easy to get carried away and misrepresent yourself on these kinds of things. But I’m charging forward because I think it needs to be said. What is going on about the way we view boys and “aggression?” I just read about a study in Cambridge that found that “delinquent” boys exposed to a stressful situation designed to raise their levels of agression did not have a corresponding rise in cortisol levels (a hormone produced in times of stress that is thought to help control temper or violent impulses).
So here’s my problem. I don’t have any issue with the researchers, and I won’t try to deny the science–though I would assume that this is one of those things that needs more research before any grand conclusions can be made. My problem is that it feels like we continue to march ever onward into medicalizing boys’ behavior, and “aggression” is too often the key. Granted, here we’re talking about delinquent youths, but whatever happened to personal responsibility and teaching boys to channel aggression and frustration into more productive ends? What happened to, “there’s no such thing as a bad boy?” Sometimes it feels like the label of, “aggression” will be used to justify any intrusion or over-generalization about boys, while ignoring the natural basis for aggressive impulse (and even it’s biological benefits). Heaven preserve us from a future where any and all aggression becomes some kind of social solecism.
(Necessary, though obvious disclaimer: clearly, this does not excuse bad behavior or harm to others. I’m talking about impulses that can be turned to good purpose, not excusing bad behavior.)
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