“Kid-Sickness” Strikes Helicopter Parents as Overnight Camps Begin
Submitted by Dr. Gwenn Is In
Over night camps are in full swing and many of our kids are either there having a blast or counting the days until they get to go and join their summer friends. While homesickness is an anticipated problem for some kids at camp, that is not nearly as much of an issue lately as a new parent phenomenon called “kid sickness”.
There’s been a few good articles about this recently, like this one on MSNBC, or this one from the Boston Globe, and neither paint these parents in a very good light, and for good reason. This is really just another example of helicopter parenting - a need for some parents to be overly involved in every aspect of their children’s lives to the point they simply can’t let go and allow their children to have some parent-free time and enjoy childhood as it was meant to be explored: without parents predetermining every aspect of every day.
These lines from the Boston Globe say it all:
“In the age of instant gratification, where parents can contact their children almost whenever they want via cellphones, text messages, and e-mails, it is Mom and Dad, not their little campers, who are struggling to let go.
“”It kills them not to know that Johnny’s on the basketball court right now, or in the bathroom, or changing his shirt,” said Bette Bussel, executive director of the New England chapter of the American Camp Association. “
Having dropped my 13 year old daughter at her bus for an overnight camp in Maine a few years going now, I can tell you the kids are beyond excited and most parents do just fine. I was a bit teary, I’ll admit, the first year, eons ago. But nowadays, knowing she is having fun and having experience with the camp, the counselors and the directors, all of us do just fine. Sure, we miss her but the separation is good for all of us. This particular camp also has amazing communication with families and we trust they will use that if needed for whatever comes up we need to know about.
Trust is the issue here. There is a leap of faith involved in sending your child away from home but you must have that leap of faith for everyone to get through the experience. To hover and become over involved from afar just diminishes the experience for our kids and becomes an issue fore the camp. Think about it - the camp directors and counselors are supposed to be watching our kids and making sure their summer is the best ever. That is where their time should be - not holding our hands!!
The MSNBC article has some great tips for dealing with Kid-Sickness:
1. remember this is good for your child because camp is a growth experience
2. do your homework on the camp so you have all your questions answered. I personally found this helpful when our daughter went away her first summer!
3. keep communication upbeat. I love this one! Your child is having a blast - any weird feelings you have are your issue so don’t dump that on your child.
4. Keep your self busy. Your child likely isn’t that homesick because of how busy the camp keeps the kids. Follow suit with that model and you’ll be fine.
5. Ditch the internet! Most camps have either a webcam or posted pictures. Don’t get caught up in that.
It is healthy of kids and parents to have some time apart. Instead of wasting the time by obsessing too much on what’s happening at camp, make the most of the time by doing things for yourself - things easier to do when kids are not at home. Some parents travel when their kids are away or take a class or spend time with friends they haven’t seen for a while. Your child is off having a blast, you do the same! Think of all the great stories you all will have to swap when the homecoming day arrives.
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