Explaining Teen Stars’ Wild Behavior
Submitted by Dr. Gwenn Is In
I totally agree with the New York Times that this has been a tough media year for teen stars. And, it has put us parents of tweens and young teens in a tough spot. My 10 year old didn’t actually catch wind about those new Miley pictures until yesterday. And, she didn’t see one until this morning when she walked behind me as I was surfing the web for fodder for this blog post. Her reaction yesterday was “she’s just a kid? How could she really know what she was doing? I’m sure her parents gave it the ok.” And, today? “Why would her parents let THAT get out? Doesn’t even look like her. Weird.”
Ever since those new Miley pictures were released, I just can’t shake a comment that Barbara Walters said on Good Morning America when she was filling in recently and this topic came up. Barbara basically said, and this is a paraphrase: “Her parents are involved and control everything in that girl’s life. Don’t think for a minute they didn’t know what they were doing or what they would get from this photographer.” But, that was the jist and I think it is the most realistic and accurate explanation yet. Miley’s parents control every aspect of her career and her mother, in particular, is with her every step of the way. The blame here is on the parents. That is where it begins and ends.
Why not blame the photographer? She was hired and just doing a job. I can’t push this argument too far.
Why not blame Miley? Unlike Jamie Lynn, Miley didn’t ask for this and is too young to know the implications of these pictures. But, in even a few years she will and I bet she won’t be very happy with the people who are to blame: her parents.
I know this is strong but it has to be. Parents have to pull back sometimes and stop using their kids as posters for something more. Whether your kids are local stars or big stage stars, be sure you are really watching out for your child’s best interests. And, if people around you are telling you to pull back, pull back. That could have saved David on Idol some pain, huh?
Parents are supposed to protect their kids so the tough part is helping our kids understand how parents of their teen starts make decisions that are not so great. I took the approach that it is hard sometimes to be a parent and a business agent and sometimes what looks like a good decision ends up not to be. I focused on the make believe of Hollywood and how easy it is in that life to get carried away. I focus on the fact that even when bad decisions are made, parents still love their kids.
In the end, we all have to keep that in mind. Even over the top parents love their kids. So, while we will all be appalled and may not understand decision that lead to photos like Miley had taken, we can at least all agree that her parents do love her.
How’s my daughter with the situation now? She’s fine. Happily listening to Miley songs and watching Hannah Montanah episodes. Kids are very accepting of mistakes and explanations and very forgiving of adults who make them. That’s the blessing and curse of childhood. I just hope that Miley has learned enough of a lesson here to forgive her parents but to keep an eye out for the next decision they make on her behalf.
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