Teen Health: Different Is Ok and Hate Is Not
Submitted by Dr. Gwenn Is In
Yesterday MomLogic posted this video from the Ellen show on a hate crime that involved a gay teenager. The teenager, Larry, was killed by another boy, Brandon, for asking Brandon to be his Valentine.
Ellen’s response is heart warming and right on the mark. Gay people are “not second class citizens”, as Ellen put it, and no one deserves to die for their sexual orientation.
I am in full agreement with Ellen that something is very wrong with our society for a boy to feel that his only recourse for being shocked that another boy asked him out was to kill that boy. We have to ask some serious questions about what messages we are giving to our kids in general about tolerance for people who have different views, lifestyles, and sexual orientations.
Like many of the commenters in the MomLogic post, I have gay friends and have never batted an eye about it. My husband and I are fairly certain one of the college age woman who watched our children a few years back was gay and was never bothered by that. She was fantastic! In fact, she taught our kids some amazing lessons in tolerance that they have carried on to this day about the value of just being good people and not worrying about who marries who. My children were at curious ages back then and we had no problem with her answering their questions honestly. I’ll never forget when youngest daughter, in kindergarten at the time, came to me one day and said, “Mom, did you know in Massachusetts, any one can marry anyone? Isn’t that great! Everyone should live here.”
In my pediatric practice, I care for many gay and lesbian families and those parents are as loving and respectful towards their children as heterosexual parents. The only issue at hand to me in that setting is whether the children are cared for properly and whether the parents are in tuned to those children’s needs. Lifestyle and sexual orientation are never the issue.
The news of Larry’s death so saddens me. As a pediatrician and health care advocate, I’m at a loss to know what to do other than this post to try and appeal to more parents to put aside their own insecurities and try to help their children understand that different is ok. Let me ask you this. What will you do if someday your children come to you and announce they are gay? We know the world isn’t always that accepting of gay people. However, our homes should always be when it comes to our children. If we all start with changing acceptance within our homes, perhaps that will trickle outside to society. I’m hoping the reverse domino effect will prevent more senseless deaths of teens trying to figure out a very difficult time in their lives.
My heart goes out to both families involved in this tragedy.
If you want to explore this topic more and figure out how to talk more with your own children about tolerance, especially around the topic of being gay, here are some links I’d suggest:
Tolerance.Org: What Does Gay Mean?
Time.Com: The Battle Over Gay Teens
AAP.ORG: I think I might be gay. What should I do?
TeenHealth.org: Sexual Orientation and Attraction
Visit 1800blogger to see all of our industry leading blogs.
Have a health issue you want to discuss or just a general issue regarding children? Register on Children's Health Blog now and get published within minutes. Before posting, it is recommended that you review our posting guidelines.
